Life Update: Why I've Been MIA

Hi lovelies, I've been pretty quiet here for the past month or so so thought it would be a good idea to give you all a bit of a life update before I get back to posting. I've seriously missed actively blogging and have to admit I'm a little miffed that I've struggled so much to post... especially when I have so many completed posts just sitting waiting!

It actually takes so much time to still promote posts even when you've managed to write them and after starting my Masters in September I'm definitely struggled to keep up. I'm studying Sociology and Social Research at Newcastle University and I'll hold my hands up, I have been super naive about the amount of time it was going to take up and its had me pretty overwhelming.

The work load has been pretty intensive so far because two of the modules have mandatory group work, which I think we all know can be a bit of a nightmare. I am incredibly lucky because the first group of girls I worked with have been amazing. We've pulled together an amazing presentation and have all gotten on so well. So much so that we all met at one girls home for dinner! We regularly meet for coffee and lunch and have started discussing weekends away and nights out. I'm pretty socially anxious which makes it pretty hard to make friends so I'm absolutely over the moon that I get on with every single girl in the group and that we've become actual friends afterwards. I'm definitely looking forward to our next meal!

The second group I haven't been so lucky with and it has had a pretty big impact on my life. Communication is key in group work and when you don't have that it isn't too surprising that the whole thing is a disaster. Its been a three week struggle to get the work done with it all being done last minute (the day before it was due to be presented) after I finally pushed the issue and contacted our lecturer as well. Thankfully my lecturer has been amazingly supportive after I got in touch with them and it was all done and presented yesterday so is now a distant memory.

The stress of trying to work in a group where some members aren't prepared to do their share of the work is awful. I've been up ridiculously late every night worrying about being humiliated in front of the class (thanks to my social anxiety) because only my half of the work was done. I've felt so uncomfortable speaking with one group member who literally ignored all communication, that I was too afraid to deal with the situation properly. I've been so stressed and anxious that the facial twitch that I used to permanently have around my eye and mouth due to anxiety came back. All of this because I just wanted them to like me, which I am pretty ashamed of. I shouldn't need the approval of people who are prepared to treat others like that.

I don't want to go seriously into detail with it because it's never nice to be overly negative, but thankfully that situation is over and done with and my friends from my initial group have been so supportive throughout the ordeal. The twitch has stopped and I am getting back to myself, which means I want to get back to blogging, and back to promoting my posts. I ended up feeling so exhausted all the time that I was just coming home for University, doing as much work as I could and then sleeping to wake up and do it all again the next day and my blog took a hit as a result.

I'm not proud that I let the situation affect me so much but realistically that is part of life. Sometimes life is going to get on top of you. Sometimes it is going to stress you out so much that you just want to stop everything for a while... and that's totally okay. Its fine to have a break so long as you make sure that you do get back up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.

Much love,

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